“Is it better to be right or to do what’s right?” – Dr. S.O.S.
“Life is too short.” That was ultimately what I shared with my patient’s husband after he looked at me with tear filled eyes and explained that he really wanted to reach out to his son and ask him to “re-friend” him on Facebook; following an 8 month long disagreement over something that happened last Thanksgiving. He explained that the rift between him and his son was reminiscent of his mother’s death and he was grieving.
My patient felt very different about her husband’s desire to “reach out” to their adult child given that they had, in her opinion, made so many other attempts and had been denied or rejected in some way. She was offended by her son’s denial of her perspective and her wounded feelings and she was choosing to act in kind. She felt that if he couldn’t or wouldn’t acknowledge her thoughts, opinions and hurt feelings, why should they go out of their way to try, yet again, to reach out to him, after all in her mind she was right.…continue reading