Lately there’s been a common theme with a lot of my patients. Of course by the time folks come to see me they’re usually in a pretty bad place. It’s usually the discomfort of being in that painful place that ultimately gets them out of their beds, into their cars and onto my couch. Most of us don’t like being in pain, especially emotional pain. We will do a lot of things to avoid dealing with emotional pain…we will try to eat the pain away, drink the pain away, sex the pain away, drug the pain away, video game the pain away, sleep the pain away, fight the pain away, pray the pain away…we will do a lot of things to avoid dealing with that pain before we will sit down and talk to someone like me to discuss the root and source of their torment.
Most of us don’t want go through the process. We think to ourselves…what good is talking about it going to do…that won’t change anything…the past is the past. But, we think about it or do a lot of things to avoid thinking about it instead of talking with someone to get it out of our heads and off of our hearts. Most of the time we don’t want to talk about it because we don’t want anyone to know our dirt. We don’t want anyone to know our secrets, the things we are ashamed of…you know that something that happened to us or that we did or wanted to do. So we just dwell on our issues and dissect what kind of person they make us…ultimately letting those issues define who we are. We will do just about anything to avoid going through the “process”. …continue reading